THANKS, SEATTLE!

What would it be like to live in a world where there was no guilt or blame? A world where no scapegoats would be needed? Where everyone accepted responsibility for their own actions?

A few months ago a friend and I had occasion to be in the city of Seattle, WA. I had offered to drive another friend of mine to the airport and then my gentleman friend suggested we all three go in his truck. It was windy and raining and he felt his heavier vehicle would be safer on the roads. His 4 x 4 was the most beautiful truck I had ever been in, all softly upholstered in gray velour and equipped with every imaginable electronic device, including a radar warning system to alert him to any highway patrol lurking along the highway. I was most grateful that he was driving as it was my first time going into the city and I didn’t know my way around.

After dropping my lady friend off at the airport, we had lunch in a lovely restaurant and then he took me to his favorite bookstore, the famous Elliott Bay Book Company, a bibliophile’s delight if there ever was one! We browsed for a couple of hours, knowing we had put sufficient quarters into the parking meter. As we left the store we were horrified to see a monstrous green tow truck hauling off my friend’s beautiful white truck. He ran after the driver, but decided it wasn’t worth a heart attack and gave up the chase. After a phone call to see where they had taken his truck, a costly taxi ride, the towing charges and the even more distressing news that a ticket had been issued which carried a heavy fine, we were on our way out of the city. I expected my friend to be angry, cursing and kicking the tires. It would have been an understandable reaction to the disaster that had started out as an otherwise beautiful day. He surprised me, however, by accepting full responsibility for what had happened. He even turned down my offer to pay half of the expenses he had incurred, something I felt was only fair since he was helping me out. “No,” he said, “I knew about that regulation, that all cars had to be off the street by 3:00 p.m. and the signs were posted. I wasn’t paying attention and didn’t look at the sign. It was no one’s fault but my own. It is my responsibility.” He was able to let go of the ego’s pattern of finding someone else to blame. As we drove out of the city I saw his tenseness disappear and his easy peacefulness come back as he began to relax. At my suggestion we stopped in a small “friendlier” town for a drink and some warm, easy, conversation. It ended well, and I learned another valuable lesson.

We can choose to be happy and peaceful and not look for someone else to blame when things go wrong. Blame and guilt cannot exist where peace and self-acceptance are present.


Essay by: Darlene Eberhardt, October 25, 1992