STAR JASMINE
October 30, 1992 This morning my
heart is heavy with sadness. This is the day when I will take
my precious dog in to the hospital to be put to sleep.
Star Jasmine---that is her pedigreed name and she has truly been
a "star" in my world. I call her "Jazz" or
"Jazzie" because she has always brought such "pizzaz"
and enthusiasm into my life. She is a small white toy poodle with
the sweetest face and disposition one could ever hope for. She
has lived a full sixteen years, thirteen of them with me, and
together we have weathered many a storm. Her soft, curly coat
has been the recipient of rivers of tears shed by me, but she
has never once pulled away or left me to cry alone.
She came to me as a gift from a friend at a time when I really
needed a special pet to love. I was going through a painful divorce,
and my only child had chosen to live with his father. I felt so
abandoned and alone. I had never been without pets, and had loved
them all, but they had always been "family pets," shared
by other members of the household. Jazz was mine alone and she
brought such happiness and comfort into my life. We bonded in
a way that mere words could never explain. She was there in the
good times and the bad, and her love and loyalty never wavered.
No human ever displayed such enthusiasm when I returned home after
being gone, whether for an hour or a week. She taught me about
unconditional Love.
But now, she has lost her eyesight and her hearing, and for over
two years has been wearing a diaper because her memory has faded
and she can't remember to let me know when she needs to go outside
to potty. She is having recurring bouts of pain and losing bowel
control. My heart tells me it is time to let her go. She is not
happy unless she is with me and she fears what she cannot see.
She and her cat pal, Buddy, and I spent our last night together,
a trio wrapped in each other's arms and in a few hours I will
hold her in my arms again as the doctor gives her the injection
that will gently put her to sleep. Buddy and I will miss her and
there will be an empty place in our home and on the bed where
she is sleeping (and snoring) at this very moment. But she will
always be in my heart and memory. I will always remember how she
"flipped" her little hips when I put the leash on to
take her for a walk. She loved that and was at her happiest when
we took walks together.
She knows I love her and if there is a Heaven for dogs she is
assured of a special place there.
Goodnight, sweet Jazz.
Written by: Darlene Eberhardt,
October 30, 1992
