PULL THE COVERS BACK OVER YOUR HEAD!

Much has been written about depression and how to cope with it when it hits us. I have had my own share of days when I wanted to pull the covers back over my head when I awoke and my first thought was "Oh no, not another day and nothing has changed!"

For several years I had a special relationship with a man who suffered bouts of Manic Depression (a clinically diagnosed form of mental illness) and in my efforts to understand him I read everything I could get my hands on to help myself get through his confusing mood swings. I read everything from the poet, Robert Lowell's Biography by Ian Hamilton to The Secret Strength of Depression by Frederic F. Flack, M.D.. My friend's depression was of a clinical nature and required professional monitoring and the proper medication to control and balance his severe mood swings. This was not a mere case of the "blahs."

There is another form of "depression" that most of us get from time to time when we say, "I feel depressed today," which may have its origins in the weather, (not to be confused with SAD (Seasonal Affective Disorder) or a miserable work situation, or we may be struggling with grief, anger, or a sense of hopelessness brought on by our daily living experiences. Some may tell you to "push those feelings aside," "carry on," "keep going," and "don't give in to the urge to crawl back into bed." In other words, deny those feelings and do what you "should" do. Up until recently I have been a master at denying my feelings, but now that I understand that our feelings are the way our bodies communicate with us in order to keep us healthy. I no longer ignore those messages. Now I have learned to recognize where my denial is coming from, listen to my feelings, and never, never, do anything from a "should do" standpoint.

Now, when I find myself having one of those days when I feel like staying in bed, I do just that. If I don't "feel" like facing the world, I don't. I go into my "depression" and go with it and stay in my pajamas all day if I "feel" like it, sleep in, eat in bed, watch soap operas, read, write, or whatever I want to do. Before I discovered this method of coping, sometimes my depression would last for days and I couldn't shake the feelings of despair. Now I find a day to myself, doing what I "feel" like doing, will almost always "cure" my depression and I am once again ready to face the world. (A word of caution: If you find that your desire to stay in bed lasts longer than two or three days then it's time to consider the possibility of a clinical depression, in which case professional help should be sought. Hopefully you have someone close to you who will recognize your need and help you find the proper solution.)

Preventing depression isn't always possible, but learning to face your Denial and understand it, is. No need to go into the bottomless pit of despair.

Written by: Darlene Eberhardt, August 28, 1992